It's been a minute since I've been here, I've been trying to find some inner peace with some of the struggles I've been facing. Storms are part of the journey and it's reality.
I remember when I was little about eight or nine. My late brother and I sitting in the social workers office. These were regular trips that we hated.
We dreaded those visits because we had to fake a smile and pretend to be happy.
"How are you?" She asked.
"Fine" we always responded.
Couldn't these people tell that we were anything but "fine"
Our foster parents drank heavily and weekends were a nightmare. I was always nervous and lonely and my brother was starting to get rebellious from their violent tantrums. All we wanted was to go home to our mother even though her alcoholism caused us to be with these people who acted like they cared for us.
Yet no one knew because we hid it well...
Years later I still hide my hurts and pain well.
"How are you?"
"Fine", okay - God is good"
Why do we do it? Why do I do it?
Our marriages are falling apart...
Our children are becoming wayward...
We struggling financially...
our parents are sick, our teenage daughters are falling pregnant...
"How are you?"
"Fine - God is good"
We pretend and hide what's really going on inside? We have a mask for every role: a "mommy" mask, the "good neighbour" mask "church" mask and so on.
And why do we put on masks everytime we step into the building called church?
Isn't church suppose to be a place of freedom and acceptance?
Maybe I don't like to appear weak. I'll be honest here, I don't like the oooh- shame -sorry look I'll get...
This is what caused me to become depressed. It drained my energy as well as my spirit.
Taking off your mask doesn't mean you have to tell all your secrets or bare all - no; its about being bold enough to speak your truth.
Each and every one of us have a unique set of fingerprints, we all have a story and we all have a chapter we want to tear up and forget #storyofmylife
You know what? God is our true teacher. He allows us to go through situations in our lives to humble us. He wants us to be real and to take off our masks in order for us to tell our stories.
Your story can inspire others who are also going through the same situations, your story can give hope, your story can change a life. No wonder the enemy wants to keep us quiet and keep our stories hidden cos he knows that God can use us mightily...
After dealing with some issues and much soul searching I slowly started taking off my mask. I stopped looking at my flaws and trying to understand the things I didn't have answers to.
The process is difficult but also liberating, I'm getting to the part that's just me. I've accepted my flaws for what it is. I stopped saying I'm fine because I'm not-
I'm grateful. I'm thankful. I'm hopeful.
Here's my question- why do you think people have a need to hide behind masks everyday?
Stay Magical
Xoxo
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