A letter to my absent father

Dear Dad
.
.
     

Today I took you to  the hospital.

 As I wheeled you in a wheelchair I looked into your eyes, I felt no connection. Why should there be?
 Like a distant memory... my despair is deep. You and me are but  perfect strangers.
This is not a bitter expression in anyway but about feelings I thought I never had.

Sympathy is what I'm really feeling.
As we silently  sit next to each other- a loud void cuts the fabric of the unspoken.

Gone before I was born and that's how it's been all my life. I didn't feel like a part of me was missing at all.

 Growing up I became aware of how insignificant I felt. I wrestled with  identity issues, battled  insecurities- and messed up relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I'm not blaming all this on your absence I'm just being real.

A lesson I've learnt in all of this - is that  our mistakes don't necessarily define who we truly are.

My heart is not broken, neither is there any disappointments. Truth is I never missed you or needed you. You never crossed my mind.

So why am I here with you after all these years? Where do I get the courage  from?

 We all mess up and we suck at life. This is my story with every struggle and shortcoming and a long time ago I  chose to grow from it.

 I don't want to live with regrets like you have...

Because your absence dad has taught me that it's not the end of my story...

Love your daughter,

I use soap bars as shampoo...Here's my favourites-

Hieee!

Using soap bars as shampoo may not be  appealing for everyone but for me it's a save, plus I have soooo much fun trying them out.
I've been using soap bars for over a year and I'm always on the look out for more  better ones...

 I started  with African black soap and from there on I was hooked! I mean the ingredients are great and most naturals swear by it...

 I love this soap because it cleanses my hair without stripping it. It lathers really good and I like that it has anti-fungal properties as well. Check out my post on how to make shampoo with it.

Gentle Magic soap 

 

 Now this one, Maxine Arnold introduced to us. Check out her hair journey here. Mwah much love to you gal!

  I could actually detangle my hair with this soap. It's gentle and cleanses my hair and scalp well. My hair is left feeling light- yes light, fluffy and soft. 

It contains sulphur which aids in hair growth and that's a bonus. 

This one is a keeper!

Mvelo soap              

                               

I stumbled upon this one when I was looking for something to combat acne for one of my son's. This soap cleaned my hair just the same as African black soap.

 The ingredient are  similar to that of Dudu Osun. 

 Glycerine, tea tree oil and eucalyptus are some ingredients that caught my attention. When my hair feels oily or grubby I use this one. This soap really left my scalp nice and clean and I love the menthol smell too.

All of these bars can be used for face and hair- who doesn't care for multi-purpose?

Honostly you can't go wrong with soap bars. I make sure I massage my scalp and let it sit for a while before rinsing.

 Okay I'm impressed by these soap bars and they are now part of my hair regimen. 

Do you  use soap bars for your hair?

Please comment below with your favourite one.

Don't forget to subscribe, like  and share if you totally dig my posts! 

Oh and connect with me on the gram for some serious inspiration...

Until next time

Keep the Magic

 Xoxo 

My boy's simple hair regimen...

Hello messycurlfriends!

A few months back my boy  asked me to help him grow his hair for the holidays and because he didn't like drinking water, I  told him the secret to long hair is water.
Guess what? He drinks water everyday and even reminds me to drink up...😄

I paid a neighbour to do cornrows for him yesterday.  His been wanting to do it for a while.
The cornrows were sowed with black wool. He loves his new hairstyle! His been having so much fun growing his hair cos his seen growth in such a short time- 2 months...😀

 

 I put up a video on my page - he explains why I deep conditioned his hair.

His hair is thick and gets extremely dry. I use the same products that I use on my hair for his because we both are  low porosity.

Cleanse - I wash every second day using a sulphate free shampoo - following with a  conditioner.

He likes plastering  his hair with products that's why I wash often and also  because of build up.

Sometimes I co-wash his hair instead of shampooing. Like I said he has very dry hair and co - washing refreshes, lightly cleanses and still leaves his hair nice and soft.

Condition - I keep the conditioner on for  like five minutes. He detangles using a wide tooth comb. Then I rinse thoroughly.

Deep condition - Now that his hair is a bit longer I've been deep conditioning every second week.

 I leave it on for about 20 minutes covered with a shower cap. After rinsing I moisturise.

Moisturise - I use a leave-in then a hair butter. I noticed his hair loves butters.

 His favourite butter- makes his hair soft and fluffy.

Sometimes I'll use my diy flaxseed gel if  he wants a curl.

I use my spray bottle of water and acv on his hair  sometimes before I co- wash.
Last night I sprayed black tea from the fridge to relieve the tension because it was a bit tight. He liked the coldness and it helped alot.
His scalp is not dry and has no flakes

because of simply making sure his hair is cleansed, conditioned and moisturised.
He never combs his hair when it dry- only when it's it's wet and saturated with conditioner.
I have spritz bottles- with different concoctions but I taught him to use the one with water and a bit of acv before adding a moisturiser. It seems to be working and his hair is growing.
I honostly don't know what's gonna happen when school re-opens in January...😆

  

Okay I think it's time I post about my regimen next. It's loooong overdue don't you think?

Check you later curlies and -
Keep the Magic
Xoxo

How I made carrot oil...

Hiya Messycurlies!

I made my carrot oil yesterday.
Carrots are not only good for eyes but helps to strengthen hair and grow it.

Now anytime I write a post I do my research. Last year I made my homemade amla oil and I used a bit of curry leaves too. It didn't come  from nowhere- it's from researching and testing then coming to a conclusion of yay or nay...

So the benefits of carrot oil besides the beta- carotene-

They rich in antioxidants and nutrients
Contain a multitude of vitamins
Moisturises  skin and hair
Stimulates hair growth and lots more...

What I did:
I used two carrots but ended up using one carrot which you will see in the video.
I washed, peeled then grated the carrots.
On the lowest heat setting (which is one)
I placed the carrots.
I used peanut oil because it's what I had on hand. Use any oil that you have eg. Olive, almond, grapeseed, avocado etc.
I poured the oil to cover the carrots.
Leave on for 5 to 10 minutes.
Afterwards when it cooled  I poured the oil and carrots in a glass jar.

I will store it away for 2 weeks cos I want all of the nutrients of the carrots to properly infuse with the oil.

Take a look at the video and see how easy it is make.

Tada! Done. I will add one or two of my favourite essential oils and use for my face and hair.
Did you know that carrot oil reduces fine lines, wrinkles and age spots?
Uhm- gal you gotta try this!

Side note* make sure the carrots are 100% dry before making the oil to have a longer shelf life.

Check you later curlies and remember to
Keep the Magic
Xoxo

Update on the hair challenge

Hi there Messycurlies!

It's two weeks since I started my hair challenge. I've never done one before.
I started this challenge mainly to focus on taking better care of my hair and  retain length.

First week I decided on twists.

For some of  us it's difficult to retain length and I started to get tired of styling everyday.
I've had twists for my low manipulation style- obviously😁.

Heres a recap of the guidelines:

Wear protective or low manipulation styles at least 4 times a week, more if you can. These can be  buns, twists, wigs and weaves. Note: If you are wearing wigs make sure you are plaiting or twisting your hair under the wig, the protective style should not mean that you are neglecting your hair.
 Trim hair, If needed, to prepare for the protective style challenge before starting to make sure your hair is in the best condition before starting.
Moisturise and seal hair on a regular basis, the leave in moisturiser should have an ingredient that is water and use a natural oil to seal. Try to do this at least once every 2 days.
Wash hair at least once every two weeks, this can be done anyway you like.  Make sure to deep condition after every wash.
 No heat at all, besides steaming or hooded drying hair, so no flat/curling irons.
 This challenge is not only for natural hair but also for relaxed ladies....
Protect your hair at night if you can with a silk pillowcase or satin bonnet.
 Try to drink a lot of water, aim for 8 glasses per day.
Finally record your progress by taking a photo before the challenge starts and when it ends to see how well you’ve done.  It would be great if people could post their protective styles, wash days etc... throughout the duration so we can keep each other motivated.

I washed my hair every week. The night before wash day I pre-poo.

Deep condition every time after washing.
This time I used AfroBotanics deep conditioner.    

I like it because it's a light protein treatment  and it moisturises quite nicely. My hair doesn't do well with protein so this was spot on. It's good  for some light strength maintenance.

Moisturise and seal daily. I've been misting my twists with tea that I keep in the refrigerator then using a leave-in afterwards by Brownchild.

On Saturday I gave my twists a light trim or more like dusting. I trimmed 2 months ago.

             2nd week I did twists again.
I sleep with a shower cap on every night. I do this when I have twists, it keeps them soft and moisturised.

I started massaging my scalp on wash days too.
I enjoy wash n go's but for now I'll be sticking to twists for this month.

Im not expecting to see a whole lot of growth in one month but...January...

Join me on my page for everyday updates and tips. Use the hash tag #mmmchallenge, #2monthhairchallenge for all who are interested in taking part.

Keep the Magic
Xoxo

Battling insecurities...

Hey there!

As far as I can remember I've always loved playing around with words. In high school I fell in love with poetry. I vividly remember writing love letters for my class boys to their secret admirers or girlfriends. I secretly enjoyed it...😆


 Anyway- for years I battled the feeling of thinking I'm not enough.  A common theme through out my life, I don't measure up.
When the ugly lies start to invade my thinking I remind myself that I'm loved by God who numbered the hairs on my head!

This inspired me to write this piece called:
Again...

My smile
 Hides the emptiness that
Lies deeply inside
Disguises the disappointments
Masks the pain
The words
Worthless penned on my heart

My joys, fears
all my hopes
And dreams
Are but a distant memory

 Titles describe content-
So my smile
Covers the broken pieces
Of my life,

Struck down-
Slowly
Steadily-
Ready to fight
 Again...

My faith
Is my shelter
My hiding place.
Beyond the deepest darkest corners
Of my mind
Still
I shall rise
 Again...

Cos He sits at the well
Waiting for me to show up
Again...

Author - Marlene Louw 

Does being different make you weird?

Hey everyone!

Do your friends  think you weird because you don't go out to bars and get drunk or
you don't curse or use vulgarity.

People who are different or stand out don't really care much about what other people think or say about them.
Living your life like everyone else is boring kind of  -like spaghetti noodles!

I remember when  I did the Big Chop and my hair started to grow. My hair looked worse than the hair of a coconut and I knew this, anyway  people  stared and they snickered. Honostly -you live in total freedom once you stop being bothered about what people think of you. Like who got time for that?

I felt uncomfortable at first but soon got over it. I was being me. I  was being true to myself. I actually believe that what makes you different becomes your superpower-

I'd rather live outside of the box than live in the box... I regularly encourage  my boys to be leaders rather than  followers (I think that should be my motto) I've learnt to set my own trends.
I have changed my life for the better and some people in the box just don't get it.

“Being weird is like being a limited edition, meaning you are something people don’t see all that often — remember that!”

~ Author unknown

So you're weird if you:
believe in God...
give freely
 debt free
 don't work cos you're a boss of your own...
 live  small
 laugh too loud
prefer the solitude of home
don't have a bestie,
sometimes eat out at restaurants alone...
 have zero interest in sport
 couldn't care less about following the news- or watching TV
plant your own veggies...

Life is so much exciting outside the box because being different is absolutely refreshing.

There's many people who are living life in the shadows- they hate their jobs or they stuck in toxic relationships, etc. They afraid to  voice their opinions,  to stand up for what they believe in-  and they afraid to be different so they just go with the flow.

But you have value. You have purpose. You are more than enough. God fashioned you by His heart.

Being different allows you to  stand out from the crowd.

My boy and I were takin up by this egg we were in awe- a lesson learned from this beauty...

 

The people who dared to be different broke world records, they made history and  we still talking about them even today.

So break out, be free and be humanly you. Being different is being weird and being weird is the new normal. Ha!

So what's your weird?
Keep the Magic Xoxo

Two month hair challenge - whose in?

Hey you!

I know it's been a minute since I did a post- but you know how life can get messy on us sometimes.

The other day I was refreshing my wng and noticed the thickness of my hair. Thickness was one of hair goals I set for myself a year ago.

 My hair grows well when I'm on a consistent routine, anyways  an idea of doing a hair  challenge sparked!

I seriously believe that simple is better. Give your hair what it needs and you're  good.
The hair challenge runs for two months and starts today- who's in?

Check out the guidelines for the challenge I 
posted here. 

Let me get the ball rolling.
Length - neck
Desired length - bra strap- I know it won't happen in 2 months...
I have thick hair.
 Low porosity
I will also be doing scalp massages and including  ayurvedic treatments.


Everyone can join in the more the merrier so we can motivate and encourage each other...
Whose in?

Here's  to a happy healthy hair  journey.

Stay Magical-
Xoxo

I love Apple cidar vinegar...Here's why!

Howzit everyone!

I read an article on how acv cures acne and is great as a cleaning agent when mixed with baking soda. Hmm and that's  not even half of it...there are many benefits to apple cidar vinegar.

I use apple cidar vinegar for salads and for my tin fish curries.
I use to use acv as a detox drink every day   with lemon, cinnamon and honey in it - helped flatten my tummy. I'm  not sure why I stopped.

Acv Detox Drink
4 tablespoons Honey
1teaspoon Cinnamon powder
Fresh lemon or lemon juice
I boil the water and allow it to cool. Then I just add everything in a jug and mix. Two or more pieces of fresh lemon or  two

squirts of the juice. If I have fresh mint I add a few in. Cucumber is great too. I also add acv to grapefruit juice it's soo delicious-

I use apple cidar vinegar as a hair rinse and in my clay masks, as well  as a toner. After I co-wash I usually do an apple cider vinegar rinse. I also  add a few drops of essential oil to it. Acv restores the hair's ph balance and removes product buildup.

A few months ago I discovered that I can use it as a skin toner. So I switched
 from this...                
           
                           
              to this.....

         ...Because I fell in love with the results immediately...
It stinks I warn you but for clearer skin it's worth it-
Acv  is antifungal and is antiseptic, I wish I  had known about this in my teens. My skin is way smoother and brighter. Did I mention that my pores are getting smaller? 

Try it and stick with it-
In a spray bottle I use 2 tablespoons of vinegar diluted with a quarter cup of water. Modify the ratio if you like. I mist my face with it to remove makeup or I use a cotton pad. I do the same for my hair, I  just spray, spray, spray and style or add a hair cream then style. No need to refrigerate.

Remember to drink water and use SPF during the day.

Well thanks for stopping by and for more just like my page to check out what I'm up to as well as to follow my new blog posts.

So if you haven't tried acv yet then  I seriously  think you should.

Until next time
Stay Magical-

DIY flaxseed gel...

Hello all!

I've never been one for gels cos most gels I've tried  left my hair 'kliphard' and dry. Besides that I could never get wash n go's right anyways.

It took me like forever to try the Flaxseed gel and gal I'm converted!
Flaxseeds are great for our hair and skin. They contain omega 3 and what I like more is that they are affordable.

This gel is light, non greasy, not sticky Aaand...wait for it- doesn't leave no white chunks in your hair!

I applied the gel on dry hair section by section. This way every strand is coated. My curls popped instantly. My hair was super soft with a nice sheen to it. Instant wash n go - whoopa!

It can be used for twists, plaits, puffs

 or to sleek your hair in a ponytail or just as a styler depends on you.

Always store in the refrigerator. Use an air tight container. Play around with this recipe the options are endless.
The longer you boil it and the more seeds you use, will make your gel thicker.

Take a look at the video I did on how I made my flaxseed gel. Hope you find it helpful and hit the subscription button okay!

Much love...Stay Magical